The World of Mike Mathia

This is where the center of my universe begins.
 

Country Songs I hope to Write Someday

Country Songs I hope to Write Someday
But Probably Never Will

The pinks and green are making me blue

Last night I dreamed you came back (and I woke up screaming)

Lord, make me the man my dog thinks I am

I love you, I'm stupid

If two of us are the same, one of us is unnecessary

My momma always told me to do what I love
(so I joined the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms)

The problem with gettin' older,
is I can't remember which lie I told her

Your wife don't love me no more

I came to on you

A good excuse for bad behavior

The tattoo I regret

Posted April 7, 2012
 

You said we'd work it out
You said that you had no doubt that deep down we were really in love
Oh, but I'm tired of holding on to a feeling I know is gone
I do believe that I've had enough
I've had enough of the falseness of a worn out relation
Enough of the jealousy and the intoleration
Oh, I make you laugh and you make me cry
I believe it's time for me to fly

Posted March 27, 2012
 

Disconnected

Words never said.

Words never meant.

Unspoken promises never kept.

Words to regret, delivered blow by blow like blades cutting soul deep.

Words neither forgiven nor forgotten, past the reach of apologies.

Caring not returned, kindness abused.

Presence ignored, feelings trampled.

Love only a distant bittersweet memory.

Faking the smile; it's only a disguise.

Dying hope, killing the spark.

No ember left burning; it's destiny but ashes.

Feeling invisible while hiding in plain sight.

Wandering in darkness,

Drowning in sadness,

Choking on tears.

Attempting to reach out but only finding emptiness.

Despairing....wishing to just be numb.

Sleep but no true rest.

Quiet but no real peace.

Not alone but still separate.

Guilt. Shame. Fear. Anger. Hurt. Loneliness. Lost.

Forgotten. Fallen. Damaged. Broken. Destroyed.

Giving up; shutting down.

Finished.

Posted March 3, 2012
 

Protip:

If you didn't hear it with your own ears, or see with your own eyes, don't invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.

Posted February 26, 2012
 

The Answer

People have often asked me whether I'd rather be without sight or sound if I had to lose one or the other.  I finally have the answer.  I love music too much.  I'd want to have that.  I'm a visual person as well.  I love what I can provide for the photography and storm chasing world.  But the kickover, what made the decision, is this.

The best things in life are unseen.  That's why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream.

That, makes the decision, easy.

 

 

Posted February 26, 2012
 

One person will understand this post.

I got a hole in me now
yeah,I got a scar I can talk about
She keeps a picture of me
In her apartment in the city
Some things in this world
Man, they don't make sense
Some things you don't need
Until they leave you
And they're things that you miss
Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I'm up against out in this world

Posted February 26, 2012
 

Dream as if you'll love forever, live as if you'll die today.

Posted February 23, 2012
 

Dammit.

    I'm so sick of being in a financial rut/crisis/clusterfuck.  It's overwhelming, and overtaking my life.  My personal life and health are suffering because of it.  I can handle a buttload of stress, but this is starting to get to me.  I get just enough money to barely squeak by on paying bills.  Hardly enough extra for gas and food, and I have all of these projects waiting, because of lack of money.  No studio for the photography business, no transmission for the truck.  No additional critically needed camera equipment.  No MacBook.  I've had to sell off yet even more shit just to stay afloat.  Some people may get it, but I bet most people have zero clue how depressing this is.  Selling off pieces of my businesses that I worked my ass off to get going, just to make bills happen.  At this point, it feels like winning the lotto would maybe, just maybe, break me even.  It was such a nice day out today, but outside of seeing a friend, today has been utterly depressing.  I'm also emotionally shot to hell.

MM

Posted February 23, 2012